The L Word Season 5, Episode 6: The Coach’s Perspective

Another week of drama for the ladies of The L Word this time as the bitter battle between SheBar and the clan heats up and Lez Girls starts shooting. For me the best part of this whole episode was seeing Bette and Tina together again. All I can say is that I concur with Bette. When it comes to chemistry “it can’t compare”. Like the rest of the world, I’ll be curious to see how this shakes down.

What struck me most about the episode and what I wanted to explore more are the topics of appearances masking what’s really going on and how acting in spiteful ways serves no one. With the exception of this whole sleeping around problem, Shane has a pretty rock solid character about her. If it weren’t for her clear challenges with leaving trails of heartbreak everywhere, I’d give her an award for integrity. She is always there for a friend in need and truly does take responsibility for her actions. (too bad she doesn’t learn and evolve after she takes responsibility for the messes she makes with women) She has a knack for seeing people for who they truly are and stands by them. This episode is no different. She owns up to her mistakes with the babes in charge of SheBar and makes a face to face visit to try and make amends. Shane begs forgiveness and asks that they keep their retaliation directed only at her and not at her friends who are innocent bystanders. Unfortunately Dawn Denbo and her Buff Barbie Babe (Cindi) don’t have an ounce of integrity between them.

What I find most interesting watching this grown up schoolgirl catfight is how obvious it is that our actions speak so loudly about who we are on the inside. What kind of person surrounds herself with all kinds of lavish things (VIP lounges, top champagne, sexy women, and loads of money) but can’t manage the most fundamental aspects of relationship to self and others? A very insecure, fearful person who lives from a mindset of lack. That’s what we have here in the women from SheBar who flaunt it, invite trouble, break the rules, and then take it out on others because they need to bolster their bruised ego and nonexistent sense of integrity. It reminds me of the bumper sticker I saw once that said “If we all followed the idea of an eye for an eye; the world would be blind”. So true.

In this case, however, no epiphany is going to descend upon the SheBar women as they are determined to take everyone down in the process to serve their own agenda. So much for the theory of abundance. Surely there are enough women in LA to support two venues, but they don’t see it that way. They have to reign supreme and destroy others in the process. I suppose that makes them feel better about themselves. In reality though there are no free lunches and what goes around really does come around. When we act out of integrity with what is right no one wins. Now I admit that each person defines her own sense of integrity based on how who she is aligns with how she shows up in the world. Yet, there are some fundamental ways of right action and certainly revenge and doing harm to others doesn’t cut it in the larger karmic perspective. Dawn and Cindi show off a good game – rich, beautiful, powerful, but my guess is that they are pretty hollow inside and not truly comfortable in their own skin or they wouldn’t need to put on such a show of appearances.

What I will be curious to see is how our core group of L Word ladies responds. Will they rise above the petty “it’s on” bullshit and take the high road of integrity? Or, will they sink to the level of the SheBar women and play dirty? I hope they step into their own power and find a respectable way to handle the challenge. Of course it IS a fictional drama after all, so I won’t hold my breath for totally pure intentions. Not only would that make for boring TV drama it would also be somewhat unrealistic because there is something so naturally human to feel the need to fight back when attacked and hurt; in the end it comes down to choices and character.