It seems we’re often too busy doing stuff to stop and celebrate the good stuff — both big and small. Really celebrating seems to be reserved for things like birthdays, holidays, weddings, and other life milestones. And, oftentimes for the LGBT crowd we don’t get to celebrate fully because the world doesn’t recognize our families the same way. Sometimes we don’t even know what to measure or celebrate ourselves. Or, we tend to hide a little bit because being more open or out makes us uncomfortable. I say celebrate anyway….the big stuff and the little stuff.
Today is what Kim & I recognize as our 15th anniversary as a couple. So, I have celebrating 
on my mind. Even so, there’s the little detail we’ve always struggled with in terms of “what is our actual anniversary date”. We arrived at February 9th because it was the tipping point that took us out of the realm of college friends and into being a couple (even though we didn’t recognize it as such at first…oh the throws of the internal strife of coming out to yourself in the middle of such an experience). There’s a 5 1/2 year gap between this date and when we had a commitment ceremony. So, we actually get to celebrate 2 anniversaries every year. Life is short, why not?! It was simply another milestone along the path and since our relationship isn’t recognized by any antiquated laws, we get to make our own rules. Not to mention all the good and tough times all count!
The cool thing is that while we’ll have our own little celebration tonight indulging in one of our favorite splurges…a fine dinner out with great wine, I’m happy to say that we celebrate each other all the time. It is the small celebrations that are even more special and keep a relationship fresh. And, I believe small celebrations are in order whether they involve a relationship, a personal accomplishment, or simply a pat on the back for keeping commitments you make to yourself. They strengthen us, keep us humble, and give us the opportunity to drink in the power of acknowledging and receiving. In effect, it makes us open and ready to bring even more good stuff & success into our lives because we are taking good care of what we already have and respecting who we are as a person.
Celebrating and rewarding yourself doesn’t have to be a big deal nor does it have to cost a lot (if any) money. Consider…
- Writing a love note to your sweetie and hiding it where they’ll stumble across it
- Taking a nice bubble bath with candles (alone or with the one you love)
- Doing something nice for someone you love (make them dinner, do a chore they usually do but hate, etc.)
- Simply be 100% present with another person for a few hours
- Treating yourself to a nice dinner at home with candlelight and flowers even if you are single. YOU deserve it and by treating yourself as you’d like to be treated you grease the wheels of the world to make that happen for you
- Chilling out to a good book or compelling movie
Celebrate who you are, the people in your life, and the blessings you experience. It’ll make the journey more joyful and set you up for even better things in the future.
I like the way you put that about your "tipping point" in your relationship and celebrating that. My partner and I were also college roommates and have found it difficult to pin-point the moment that our feelings changed. We also having a "tipping point" anniversary (Feb. 13th) that we've celebrated for six years. But, lately I've been feeling like maybe it isn't the right thing to celebrate, maybe we should be celebrating something a little more self-concious, like when we bought our condo together a couple of years ago. But, I like you're idea of celebrating twice! After all, we lead stressful lives that require daily strength to "go our own way", maybe we deserve multiple anniversaries! We have not had a commitment ceremony yet, but I think we should keep celebrating Feb 13th, and maybe add June 30th (the day we bought our place) and when we have a commitment ceremony we can celebrate that day too! We probably deserve three bottles of good champaign a year!
Hi, I'd like to reprint some of your articles in my print publication, Women's Community Connection. I've used a couple of them available from the Gaylink Free Content program, and received very positive feedback.
Let me know if that's possible.
Thanks,
Sherrie Nist
Publisher, WCC