That is the very question that bestselling author Debbie Ford tackles in her new book “Why People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy”. What I have always loved most about Debbie’s work
is that she goes straight to the heart of the matter and is so willing to go to the dark places and negative feelings we all have. I have had the honor of being trained as a coach by Debbie and her staff personally and to this day it remains one of the most pivotal experiences in my life. It wasn’t all fun and roses, though…it involved looking deep into those dark scary feelings within.
The reason we are our own worst enemy is that we don’t want to look at these parts of ourselves that we don’t like. Then, when we least suspect it – BAM! these disowned parts of ourselves start running the show and wreck havoc on our lives. We see it played out in the news all the time – Eliot Spitzer resigning as governor of New York, a local public figure engaging in unethical behavior, or yet another famous star doing something insane for the world to see.
And it plays out in our own lives on a regular basis too, we just often miss the signs or dismiss it. Sometimes it is small like dishonoring the commitments we make to ourselves, binging on dessert when we’re attempting to get to a healthy weight, or screaming at a loved one because they are an easy target; sometimes we really let things blow up on ourselves and it can be not too unlike the stuff we read about in the news.
Check out this recent clip of Debbie Ford on Good Morning America talking about her new book and using one of my favorite phrases “you can’t put ice cream on top of toxic waste” (although I prefer the “can’t put ice cream on top of poop” example she has given in the past.)
While it may be scary to look into those dark places and learn to embrace all of who we are, I can personally tell you the benefits are huge. I mean HUGE. For me personally it laid the foundation of being comfortable in my own skin.