Second-Guessing Yourself Is Costing You Confidence & Money

Indecision Equals Low Confidence and Less MoneyHave you ever needed to make a decision and then just when you thought you knew what you wanted to do, doubted yourself?  In the “I want to do x,y,z…well, I don’t know maybe I shouldn’t?  What if it’s the wrong choice? Maybe I don’t deserve it?” sort of way.

C’mon… tell me you haven’t ever done this, I dare you!

Almost everyone has felt this way at some time or another, but the question is – how familiar is this routine for you?

  • Do you make it a habit to second-guess all your decisions?
  • Do you doubt yourself from the get-go whenever an opportunity or challenge presents itself?
  • Do you adopt inaction/keeper of the status quo as your mode of operation because you don’t want to risk taking action or speaking up because you might not do the “right” thing?

If this rings a bell, it is costing you in many ways.  You may “think” it is insignificant, but in reality it costs you confidence and money.  That’s right, it literally costs you money. Here’s why…

I used to spend hours, days and months, even years locked in analysis paralysis. I could sit in a cup of self-doubt for what seemed like forever. For several years there I made it my full time job.  Here’s a sneak peek from one of those times early in my career.  My boss would give me a new, more challenging assignment.  While I knew I was intelligent and could figure anything out given time and resources, I would almost immediately launch into a panic. I would doubt my abilities, beat myself up because I wasn’t an instant expert at something I had never done before, and literally think “who am I to think I can be any good at this?”   Everywhere I looked all I could see where obstacles and more opportunities to second-guess myself.

So you can see where this was not the best way to go about achieving something, right?  You can see how this behavior kept me from stepping up to do new things and expand my responsibilities into a higher paying position, right? [Read more…]

Are You Letting Others Tell You Who You Should Be?

Listen to Your Own WisdomI recently had the opportunity to speak with a large audience of individuals in the midst of career transition.  These folks ranged from people who desperately needed a job because they had been out of work for a long time to people pro-actively seeking to reinvent their professional and personal lives.  One theme that ran throughout all their stories was that they were being told by “experts” that they have to be someone they are not if they want to be successful.  These tidbits of so-called well-meaning advice looked like:

  • If you’ve always done “x”, it isn’t possible to change careers and do “y”.
  • You’re too old/too young to earn that much money.
  • You have to be whomever they want you to be if you think you’re going to work for/with them.

When I hear these sorts of things, it gets my panties in a twist.  Why?  Because while there could be some useful information hidden in the “advice”; they way it is delivered doesn’t serve people in any way, shape, or form.  What positive outcome could possible grow from telling people that they don’t really matter as individuals, they just need to suck it up and fit the mold of whomever is hiring?

I spent decades trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and “fit in” where I was never meant to “fit in”.  I asked all kinds of mentors and experts for advice and tried to be someone I was not.  Do you know what?  All these fabricated actions never led to one iota of success. Then I dropped the façade and stood confidently in my truth, then and only then was I able to achieve success on the inside and out.

Granted, sometimes this was met with resistance from others who wanted me to be someone I was not.  I had one ineffective and insecure manager literally ask me to leave my personality at the door.  Yet it was because of, not in spite of this, that I realized that success is impossible if you compromise your own integrity.

Because I’ve had these experiences and moved through them to the other side,  I’m on a personal crusade to guide others to believe and then experience the truth that you don’t have to sacrifice your authentic self to succeed in the world.  There is another way. In fact it is the only way you can create true and lasting success. [Read more…]

How to Prioritize When Everything is a Priority

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