Sometimes You Just Need to Stop Already!

Have you ever gotten so frustrated trying to solve a problem or move through a sticky situation that you just keep trying and toiling but nothing seems to budge?

As you work harder and harder to make it happen does it seem you take one step forward and three steps stumbling back ending up simply flustered, aggravated, and no further along than when you started?

I know you’ve experienced this. Goodness knows I’ve experienced it more than a few times myself (in the last month alone!).  If you’ve ever grappled with a technology problem you absolutely know this feeling.  You’re desperate to move ahead but you seem to be at the mercy of powerful yet mysterious forces that baffle you and leave you breathless.

As the high-achieving bright person you are, I bet I know what you do when these situations happen.  You work even harder.  You throw all of yourself at the problem because you want to take responsibility for making things happen and are committed lock, stock, and barrel to your goals.

Then, things just get worse.  Not necessarily big thing but the little things that threaten to unravel your sanity.  Another gadget breaks, the phone disconnects, you reach for water in the fridge and a quart of blueberries falls out and rolls all over the floor.  Then you patiently (or not so patiently) get to the task of fixing that first so you can get back to the original problem you were trying to solve.  And, for the record, those blueberries are very hard to cleanly pick up with any haste! I am just saying…

Usually the solution (which is always simple!) is to stop. Stop, walk away, and create some space. It might seem illogical but it is the intuitively wise way.

I know you’re thinking – stop! I can’t possibly stop! Don’t you know I’m on deadline, have a to-do list a mile long, and just have to fix it now?!

I do. I hear you and I feel your pain. And what I’ve come to learn (mostly the hard way) is that sometimes disengaging is the most compassionate and productive thing you can do.

I used to force just about everything.

Parts don’t fit together? Jam those suckers!

Technology not working? Give it a whack!

Can’t solve a problem?  Call, beg, borrow, struggle, and keep at it until I almost lost my mind or keeled over.

I can remember during my programming days spending hours trying to solve an application problem.  Coffee was chugged and troubleshooting was turbo charged.  Hours ticked by, tempers flared, and threats were made.  But the solution was nowhere to be found.  Then with ulcers wanting to flare up and tears in my eyes I would usually give up.  Walk away, go home, take lunch, or go workout.  Then like a miracle descending from on-high I’d sit back down and voila! Missing semi-colon (or whatever the problem was) was immediately found.  Right in front of me as clear as day.

Why couldn’t I see it before?  Because you can’t see what is right in front of you when you’re running frantically about.

You might not be in the hunt for missing semi-colons, but the same holds true with any business or personal problem you are grappling with.  Now instead of forcing things, I create space. I’ve given myself permission and perspective that no lives will be lost here.  So when “*#IT” hits the fan, I get lost for a bit.  Jump on the bike, read a book, workout, meditate, whatever…  It is as productive as it is refreshing.  And, I get off the wheel of misery that comes with trying, trying, trying and going nowhere fast.  More than 99% of the time I come back to the situation at hand and something shifts. A solution is found, a call gets returned, whatever needs to happen next does and with grace and ease to boot.

Solution:

The next time you find yourself grappling with something , rather than try harder, let go. Create space, move, take a break, and leave the crime scene.

Then return with a fresh perspective and renewed calm.

How do you feel?  (Is it a bit different?)

What is the quality of presence and attention you bring to the task at hand now?

How are the results different than before?

 

Does your business and life leave you frustrated and breathless on a frequent basis (and not in a good way!)?  Learn how you can  navigate differently for greater results and more peace of mind: contact me today  for a complimentary Intuitive Intelligence® Activation Session today.

 

photo credit: Paula The Destroyer via photo pin cc